Many people are familiar with what a midwife does, usually in reference to the beginning of life—the birth.

A death midwife is a supportive person who is in service as you or your loved one prepares to cross the threshold at the other end of life: they are there in part to hold sacred space and offer assistance as they are able and as the need arises.

Unlike a birth midwife, death midwives provides no medical care. Our focus is on education, preparedness, guidance, support, and advocacy.

And, much like how a birthing person’s body is trusted to know how to birth, a dying person’s body knows how to die. Sometimes though, a dying person needs help or guidance to understand what is happening to their body, or their loved ones need assurance that what is happening to them as they die is normal and they are not needlessly suffering—that is where I come in.

A death doula is essentially the same thing, and the terms are often used interchangeably. There are small differences that probably don’t matter much to a dying person, but in general a death midwife is often there for more of the after death care as well as during the dying time, including during the grieving process.

Just as caring for your own loved ones requires no degree or certification, there is nothing that is specifically required to become a “death midwife” or “death doula”, even though it is common to see the word “certified” in front of those terms. It is up to you to decide if the credentials of the midwife fit your needs, instead of relying on a governing body to decide who is up to the task based on an arbitrary set of standards that may or may not actually align with your preferences and values.

Historically in western cultures, and as they still do in many parts of the world, we lovingly cared for our dead and dying in the home, with the trusted help of our community and perhaps a midwife or other community healer. This type of service work was and is still done by intuition, guided by what is right for each family in the context of the care they prefer and can provide.

If the need for your caregiver to have a certificate or degree of some kind is ultimately of great importance to you, I both completely understand, and I do not believe I can provide what you seek in that instance. Certification processes are necessarily and inherently elitist and exclusionary, which are things I do not adhere to in the context of caring for our loved ones.

There are myriad ways in which a death midwife can join a care team at the end of life, whether it is for yourself or for a loved one who needs my assistance in some way.

Some common ways Death Midwives help families and dying peoples are:

*guidance filling out Advance Directive paperwork or other legal documentation

*support creating sacred space for a death to take place in, or after a death has already taken place

*respite for caregivers who want to know that their dying loved one will be looked after while they run essential errands

*assistance with Home Funeral arrangements

These are only a few of the ways I can help. If you’re still not sure and have more questions, schedule a consultation so we can chat about what you have in mind, whether you think you need me for an hour or two, or many hours over a long period of time.

No. I am not a hospice or medical aid provider, and I can provide no medical care in any way.

What I can do is offer support, education, and a container for the chaos and uncertainty that often accompanies a death.

I will be there to help you as you comfort your distressed loved one to sleep, to have hard discussions about what is going to happen to them as they near their dying time, and provide assurance and education about the physical symptoms of dying.

I can also provide you with assistance on a personal level as you navigate caring for a loved one on hospice, by helping you to organize a system that works for you as you keep track of and administer medications, take care of nutritional needs and other essential day-to-day tasks like hygiene care, nursing visits, and more, including taking care of your own needs.

Medical Aid In Dying is the right of a patient with a terminal diagnosis to end their own life through the use of a terminally sedative medication. It should be discussed between a dying person, their caregiver(s) and loved ones, and their medical team. While I am restricted by law in how I may assist in the MAID process, I can join your MAID team as a support person for you and your loved ones should you choose that the time is right for you to die on your own terms.

VSED (pronounced v-said) is an acronym for “Voluntary Stopping of Eating and Drinking” which is a legal option everyone has regardless of medical status. A person who is suffering from a medical diagnosis of any kind, but that is not necessarily considered to be “life-shortening,” might choose this option to help them end their life on their terms, even if they don’t qualify for MAID.

And as with MAID, while I am restricted in how I can offer assistance, I am able to provide education and guidance about this option if you would like to speak to your care and medical team about it.

Prism is an inclusive practice, and this is especially true for people who are members of historically marginalized groups, including the LGBTQIA+ community. I will make every effort to bring my service to you with the intention not only to create no harm, but to mitigate any harms perpetrated by the medical system on your dying time.

Your family does not have to be related to you by blood in order for them to be your legal representatives as long as all of the appropriate paperwork is filed. I can help with this, and will take care of you just the same as I will take care of my own family.

There are many ways for a death midwife to be present and supportive for a dying person, no matter the setting or the expected timeline for death.

While I do have personal guidelines about how often and at what times a dying person might benefit from my presence depending on the circumstances of the prognosis, and a separate set of guidelines for how often a grieving person might need my support following a death, these are deeply personal choices for each individual.

For people who are dying outside of the home—whether that is because of prolonged illness in a hospice facility, or because of sudden illness or traumatic injury, and in a hospital setting—I am absolutely still able to be in attendance—each death is unique.

If you’re thinking about hiring my services but are not sure how often or in what way you’d like to have my support, let’s discuss it in your consultation.

A legacy project can take on powerful meaning for a dying person, and they come in many forms.

While I can help facilitate a legacy project for a dying person if that is what their wish is, I will not instigate that process on my own. I can also provide ideas or guidance if a dying person would like to do a project but isn’t sure what they want that to look like.

There are as many ways to believe in the Divine as there are human beings.

While our religious beliefs might not always align on paper, I believe that every individual’s connection to their G-d is as sacred as mine is, and I will always respect you and your loved one’s beliefs.

As a practicing Jewish person, Animist, and Witch, my own belief is that we are all creations of a Universal Divine. My practices are informed by Anti-Zionist and Diasporist Judaism, Celtic reconstructionism, and folk magic that aligns with my own Ancestral and cultural background.

I can incorporate any of these elements into our time creating sacred space for you or your loved one, but I will only do so upon request and with the explicit consent of the dying person.

While I can provide support to you while you prepare for, plan, or celebrate a funeral—including home or blended funerals—due to legal limitations I cannot assist in any way with the actual care or final disposition of your or your loved one’s body after death.

I would however, absolutely love to help you plan for a home funeral or a green burial of any kind, and can provide information about those options to you or your loved ones as you prepare for the inevitability of death. I can also provide guidance to you as you fill out paperwork pertaining to said planning, in order to ensure that your wishes for your physical remains are handled to the best of your loved ones ability.

A home funeral is exactly what it sounds like! Historically in our culture, and still commonly in many parts of the world, funerals took place in the home, with the care of the deceased falling to their loved ones and community.

Depending on the wishes of the dying person for what should happen to their body after death, a home funeral can be an empowering option to allow for families, friends, and beloved communities to more actively participate in honoring the life of the dying person, in some instances even taking place in a modified way while the dying person is still alive.

I would love nothing more than to talk with you about the options for this and how we can make it a reality for you or your loved one, if that is what you decide.

While I can provide some limited assistance and guidance for persons filling out and filing paperwork pertaining to their medical wishes, I am not a lawyer and I am bound by strict laws around this topic. Ultimately it is up to the individual who is dying, or their loved ones, to fill out and file paperwork pertaining to a death, including but not limited to Advance Directives or POLST forms, death certificates, etc.

I can offer guidance on other forms of paperwork as well, such as 5 Wishes forms, which are legally binding in WA state and can help families with hard-to-have discussions about what should happen in the event of a medical emergency, illness, or sudden death both in terms of quality of life until death, and for funeral wishes after death.

I am also allowed to assist with medical decision making (medical surrogate/agent) for a dying person, provided we have the appropriate paperwork filed prior to that paperwork needing to take effect. This could be for a dying person who may not have next legal of kin, or who does have next of kin but would prefer that they not to have access to sensitive information about, or decision making power for them.

Yes! Though there are many cultures which have death and dying practices that I am not as familiar with as our modern Western practices, I would love to learn about them so that I can care for you in a way that feels natural and whole.

If you have specific concerns about a practice being done correctly or want to make sure there will be room for a particular practice in your death care, I would be happy to help facilitate that by coordinating any other caregivers that may need to come in for those specific things. And of course, I will educate myself about those practices so that there is no additional burden placed on a dying person or their caregivers.